Life of a Game Master

07:08:00

Warning, there will be much vulgarity being used in this post.

No, I am not complaining.
No, I am not angry.
No, I am not whining.
But sometimes, I just can't understand what went wrong. Somehow, some people lost their brains to zombies or being sucked out by Aliens. They just can't think like a rational human.

In fact, it is quite frustrating because some requests are out of my control. I can't help them as much as I wanted to and they will insist the problems to be solved. I get your points, but we can't fix every single one of your issue if there's no details given to us. Some of you might get offended but please understand our position. The excuse: "I pay for your company, you must do it for me" is demanding, you should know that.

Do keep this in mind, GMs are not robots. We don't work 24/7 and we have our own life. Most of the times, we don't work after our working hours. It works the same for you: You don't study 24/7.  Now here's the thing, the common stereotype of a GM is to play games while working. This simply means lots of you think GMs play games as living. So hello there, you naive ones! Let me give you a glimpse on a GM's life! These are some of the familiar cases happen to you or your friends:

1. Fuck you GM! Stop disconnect me from the server! Fix your bloody noob server! 

Hello? You're using Wi-Fi or ancient Internet connection? Millions of players did not get disconnected from the game and you are the only one get disconnected. I can't fix your Internet Connection. 

2. Walao this GM, confirm "kiao-ka" (shake leg aka slaking) eat drumsticks one lor. Don't solve the lag issue and always play game only.

Screw you. If I'm the one "kiao-ka" doing nothing in the office, I won't bother to provide solutions at the Forum. I won't bother to run community events on monthly basis just to giveaway free items. For your information, we are not supposed to play games during working hours, except lunch and after working hours. Don't use "Ass-umptions" to mark us as lousy GMs. Words hurt, you know. 

3. This GM so noob! Even I'm the player also score better than him. Don't become a GM leh, you are such a disgrace to this game. Go become a chicken lah!

Being a Game Master doesn't mean to be the best player. If I'm the best player in the game, why should I bother to become a GM? A godly GM is cheating; unskillful GM is disgusting. Tell me people, what kind of GM you want? A Robot? You are always welcome to enjoy your life being a GM, by sending in your resume to Garena. I forgot that you should feel OK when someone scolds your parents, or even your private parts. We got cursed everyday, with our parents die at accidents and stuffs, we don't feel OK, but we chose to ignore it and keep calm to solve the issue. 

4. Why the fuck you you match me with noob teammates? Why the fuck trollers and AFKers in my team? You noob GM!

I don't match you with them. I'm not a system. I face them in the game as well. Trolls and AFKers? That must be your suay luck. Out of 100 games, I would only meet them like 30 times? Or maybe less than that. I don't meet them in every single match so I guess my luck is pretty OK. Sometimes, I'm a noob because I am still new to the game, I'm willing to learn but don't go around and telling everyone this piece of sh*t is noob, remember you were a newbie before. 

5. GM my account is hacked by others! Please help me get back all the money and password!

For god sake, you let others to hack your account. Shouldn't you be ashamed for yourself? I can't give back your Password and please use your eyes to locate the Forget Password button. It is always there and use it to change your password. I don't know what is your password and stop asking me to get back your password. Money? This is your own problem for letting others hack into your account. Please take care on your belonging and we shall not take any responsibility for your lost. Get it?

6. Why the patch came earlier? Why the patch came so much later than other countries?

This my friend, I can never understand you. Release the patch at the same time as other country, you doubt about it; release slightly later than other country, you complaint about it. Might as well tell us which date you want us to patch, and we might do it for you? Aight? 

7. GM, please give me free items! Please please please!

I don't get free items, why should you? Stop accusing us for taking free items. Stop saying we get free items whenever we want. If I can get free items whenever I want, I wouldn't be paying to buy in-game items. And you think money is easy to earn? Proof me. 

8. This contest is so unfair! I should be the one who win this item, not him!

5 lucky winners to be picked among thousands of entries. Do you think it is easy? You have no idea how we have to torture our eyes just to pick 5 creative entries out of these thousands entries. If you're not being picked, you ran out of luck. . 

9. GM, why you no fix the bug? The bug is so troublesome and people are abusing it!

I'm not a developer. I'm not a programmer. I'm just a middle person for the developer and you. It is not the GM who fix the god damn bug, it is the developer who fix it. Why don't you wait for it to be fixed? 

10. We want new content! GM, please give us new content! We are bored! No new content will make us quit!

Please quit and get a life, seriously. I can't force you to stay if you're bored with the game. New content is provided by developer. Even if you ask us to push them out to the live server, we have still to test and QC it beforehand. So tell me, you want those bug issues to be solved ahead? Or new content with more bugs? Solve it at the same time? Please, developers need people like you, please send your resume to their company and help to fix the bugs. 

GMs are surround with all these cases everyday. I am still loving my job. I love learning new stuffs but the only thing I can't stand is the accusations. I can't beg for you to understand our stance because you are not in my shoe. I can't please everyone because I'm not a super computer. Sometimes, I keep asking myself: Apa lagi players nak?

Ok people, finished my rants. Happy Gaming :)

ze bad England iz real.

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